The Game of NetWorking:  Vultures vs. Victims, Part II

Last month we began talking about a common complaint I get from my clients about the types of people they encounter at NetWorking events, which I termed the “vulture vs. victim scenario”.  Part I focused upon the nasty (and not-so-nasty) vultures and how to spot them.  This month we will delve into the psychology of the poor (and not-so-poor), unsuspecting (and not-so-unsuspecting) victims.  Again, to understand the truth about vultures and victims, we need to understand both sides of the coin, and why they do what they do and say what they say.  Why?  To become more effective NetWorkers ourselves.

Victims are called so because they walk away from an event either completely clueless as to how they got suckered into buying the latest and greatest widget from a vulture they met or extremely grumpy because they found some inherent flaw.  They come in three varieties:

1. The FOB (“fresh off the boat”)
2. The Grumpy Gus/Negative Nancy, and
3. The elitist

The Type 1 Victim

“Type 1” victims are typically the folks one would typically associate with a victim.  These are the people one might find parading through Manhattan, looking up at all the skyscrapers, wearing a flannel shirt, jeans, cowboy hat and the brightest smile this side of the Mississippi.  In fact, the only thing missing is a sign that says, “Can you tell I’m from out of town?”  At a NetWorking event, these folks usually were just laid off from some larger corporation and have decided to go out on their own.  You can tell who they are by the “deer in the headlights” look in their eyes and the flock of vultures surrounding them from all sides.

The Type 2 Victim

“Type 2” victims are superb at pointing out the flaws of the events in which they attend.  From the quality of food, to the types of people who attend, to the way in which the event is run, if there’s a shortcoming, these folks will find it (the really advanced type 2 victims will invent a shortcoming even if none can be found).  Some will even go so far as to point out flaws in the economy or government.  Yes...misery truly does love company, and often type 2 victims congregate in sub-networks.  If you’ve come to this event for a shoulder to cry on, you’ve found the right place...just search around the room for the corner where the energy level is so low you can cut it with a knife.  Type 2 victims often wonder why they even come to these events to begin with since they never get any referrals.  The rest of us wonder as well.

The Type 3 Victim

“Type 3” victims are not the ones you would necessarily associate with being victimized, although they are very easy to spot.  Type 3 victims are those who have mastered the art of NetWorking, know it inside and out and frown upon any NetWorkers who don’t “get it”, for they are victimized by the hordes of unsophisticated NetWorkers.  They are often overheard sharing their strong opinions about vultures as well as the other types of victims...in fact the only people of whom they don’t have strong opinions...are themselves...hmmm.  For those of us who aren’t among the lucky few who are “in the know” (or perhaps just have the wrong blood type), we must bow our humble heads in the presence of their collective countenance as they look from on high above their noses at our wretched NetWorking souls.  Speaking for myself, I am ever so grateful that they haven’t yet turned me over to the NetWorking Police for not meeting their standards of “properly articulating my business”.  Let’s put it this way, if you’re a type 3 victim, you will be doing one of two things after reading this:  1.) writing me some “fan” mail or 2.) unsubscribing from my newsletter.  Often, type 3 victims form their own sub-networks, sometimes known as “good ol’ boys networks”.

What’s Really Going On

As a big believer in continual personal and professional development, we all too often forget about the effects of time.  The people with whom you meet at NetWorking events are just snapshots of particular moments in time.  We’ve all been type 1 victims at some point in our lives.  The type 1 victim you meet today (under the right circumstances) can become the effective NetWorker (and fantastic referral source for you) tomorrow.  If you feel you’re a type 1 victim, understand it’s OK.  Look to NetWorking books, seminars and coaches who can help you.

Type 2 victims tend to be negative due to several reasons.  Most often when it comes to the type 2 victims described above, there is an unwillingness to look at themselves critically as business owners who must NetWork for a living and must change those habits that no longer serve them.  Instead, there is a re-direction of blame for poor performance on anything else they can find.  Attitude is everything in the game of NetWorking and the most effective NetWorkers have the best attitudes.  Again, if you’re a type 2 victim, you might consider hiring that business or life coach you know.

Lastly, if you’re a type 3 victim (and you’re still reading this), understand that the good ‘ol boys networks stagnate and die over time.  Every new person you meet with whom you establish a working relationship brings their NetWork to yours - as you probably already know, it’s about who they know.  Furthermore, if you have knowledge about NetWorking and are proud of it, share it with the world.  After all, if you’re the spectacular NetWorker that you think you are, you must obviously believe in the “giver’s gain” philosophy.  Elitism has no place in a game for all ages in which anyone can play – the more, the merrier.

For the rest of us, I might suggest a game to play with your friends at the next NetWorking event you attend:  a NetWorking Scavenger Hunt.  See how many types of vultures and victims you can find!  The one with the most gets to take the others out to coffee, breakfast or lunch.

Of course, before you do, you might want to read next month’s article:  Part III of The Game of NetWorking:  Vultures vs. Victims.  You might be asking yourself, “haven’t you already covered both vultures and victims ad nauseam?”  The answer is yes, but there are others you will find at your next NetWorking event.  What can they be?  Stay tuned!
 

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