Networking: It's Child's Play, Really

I know what some of you are thinking: "Sandy lives in beautiful Hawai’i and goes to all these glamorous networking events and writes all these interesting stories about networking in the islands, BUT when push comes to shove, does she really know how to network? Can she marshal her personal network and get things done? "

Oh, ye of little faith, say I.

This month I put myself and my networking skills to the test, and I’m proud to say I scored a solid A (in my mind, anyway). Here’s what happened:

I’m currently teaching a second grade class at an elementary school in lush and peaceful Palolo Valley on Oahu. I’m filling in for the regular teacher who is out on family leave. The students are working on a big research paper about tea and the various tea-growing countries. Believe it or not, they chose this topic over dinosaurs--probably because I promised them that we would top off the unit by having an old-fashioned afternoon tea party. I pictured in my mind outrageous costumes, delicate scones, perfectly-brewed loose-leaf tea, chamber music, and well-mannered children reciting poetry and singing sweet songs. Hold that thought--I’ll tell you how it panned out at the end.

I began my planning by going to the legendary Kahala Hotel and Resort and having afternoon tea at The Veranda. This is my favorite spot on Earth. If I ever run away from home, that’s where you’ll find me. In fact, I "run away" to The Veranda as often as I can. Check out the photographs at their website (the Grand Lobby is, well...GRAND) and you’ll understand what I mean: http://www.kahalaresort.com.

I chose a Darjeeling tea and a tiered tray of delicacies too wonderful to describe. As I bit into the homemade scone, I was actually startled by how delicious it was. This was no ordinary baked good! I reflected on how wonderful it would be to serve these to my class at the tea party.

I vaguely remembered that a friend of mine from church, Vern Yamauchi, works at the Kahala Hotel in one of the restaurants. The next weekend, I mentioned to him and his wife Leanne that I loved the scones and asked if they thought the Kahala would donate some to my class. To my surprise, I found out that Vern was the very person who baked the scones! He also agreed to personally bake a batch on his own time and donate them to our tea party. Wow! What a wonderful and generous friend. At that moment, I realized two things: first, it pays to get to know people (network), and, second, if I continue to stumble upon (and network with) the right people, the tea party was going to be fabulous.

With the scones secured, I next turned my attention to costumes. I wanted the children to dress up, feel special, and have fun. I also knew that there was no way I could get tea party clothes for 23 second graders all by myself. I needed to reach out to my network of colleagues and friends to pull this off. I received permission from the school principal, Mrs. Ruth Silberstein, to put a memo requesting cast-off clothing in the mailboxes of all the teachers and staff. I also asked my family, friends and colleagues in BNI (www.bnihawaii.com) to kick in.

I needed 13 neckties for the boys and 10 dress-up outfits for the girls. The girls’ clothes were fairly easy to obtain, but I had a hard time finding anyone who even OWNED a tie, much less had one they were willing to donate. In Hawai’i, practically the only men who wear ties are attorneys--and even then only when they are going to court. I voiced my concerns to a couple of people at school (networking) and within 24 hours I received a call from Mrs. Jane Kamauoha, a fourth grade teacher, who generously donated all the neckties we needed. What a lifesaver! The boys had loads of fun learning how to tie them.

As I mentioned, the girls’ outfits were easy to obtain--again, thanks to networking. I was helping my friend and fellow BNI member, Joni Redick-Yundt, edit her upcoming book Million Dollar Attitude (due out in July) and I casually mentioned the planned tea party. Joni immediately offered to help. She emptied her closets and brought us bags of pretty dresses, high-heeled shoes, handbags, and Mary Kay cosmetics. The girls went wild!!

Mrs. Theresa Wolfe, the facilitator at the PCNC at Palolo School, donated beaded necklaces, tablecloths, and cups. PCNC stands for Parent Community Network Center. Its purpose is to develop a sense of community between the students’ families, the school, and those in the neighborhood who wish to support the students. Mrs. Wolfe works tirelessly on behalf of the children and I feel fortunate that she took the time to help us with our tea party. In addition, Mrs. Martha Ishikawa, our PSAP (Primary School Adjustment Project, which assists children who need support adjusting to the school environment) coordinator, donated a gorgeous hat for one of our girls and a beautiful white apron for me. Other members of the faculty and staff dropped off clothes, jewelry, and miscellaneous items, too. Thank you, networking!

Next, I needed the tea. I thought this would be the easiest part, because I am a serious tea fanatic and I know (or thought I knew) where to buy tea. I had a gift certificate for tea from my daughter who won it as a prize at the By Women, For Women monthly meeting at the Hawai’i Women’s Business Center (www.hwbc.org). Since she doesn’t drink tea, she generously sold it to me (that’s right, SOLD it, not GAVE it, the little brat). The certificate was to Bibbitea Bobbitea Brew (http://www.bibbiteabobbiteabrew.com) and I considered going there for my tea selections. I had met their representatives at the First Friday networking event in downtown Honolulu a few months earlier and we hit it off--they are very sound on tea.

I also considered going to my favorite tea merchants, Byron and Satomi Goo, at The Tea Chest (www.teachest.com). Byron used to mix up a special blend of black and green teas, rose hips, and bergamot just for me. We couldn’t think of a good name, so we gave it the unimaginative label: "Sandy’s Blend." Byron and Satomi call themselves hard-core "Leaf Lovers," which means they are uncompromising when it comes to quality. They have an extensive line of tropical teas and herbal blends. The Lavender-Lemongrass is one of my favorites.

In the end, I literally stumbled upon the perfect tea store with the perfect selection of teas. I took a short-cut through the Ala Moana Shopping Center after a dinner meeting with Joni (http://www.alamoanacenter.com) and bumped smack into the door of what can only be described as "Tea Heaven." The store is Lupicia Fresh Tea and its walls are lined, ceiling to floor, with premium teas from around the world. I’m telling you, when I saw the WALLS of tea, my eyes bugged out, my jaw dropped, and I swear I heard an angelic chorus. I had stepped through the Looking Glass, into Oz, and the Force was with me! As I walked in, I tried my best to wipe the stunned look from my face and act like a normal person, but I caught the manager and sales clerk exchanging a should-we-call-security glance.

They relaxed after I explained my mission, and they donated some informative written materials that the class could use in writing their research papers. I took it back to school and the kids poured over it (pun intended). I also picked up their catalog of teas and we chose blends from different countries to serve at the tea party. We (actually, the children) also chose a flavored tea: banana-chocolate. I know it sounds horrible, but it tasted divine.

Technically, the tea was secured by dumb luck rather than networking. But, since the store donated literature after I got to know them a bit, I’m going to count that as attempted networking or second degree networking. In any event, it goes into the "Win" column.

Another big win was my conversation with Shanna Kealoha, a Pampered Chef representative (www.pamperedchef.biz/kealohaskitchen), at the May 9th meeting of By Women, For Women. I thumbed through her catalog and saw a three-tiered stand that looks just like the one they use at the Kahala Hotel. I confessed to Shanna that I coveted it and would love to get one for the tea party. She said she had one! And, she graciously offered to loan it to me, along with a rectangle stand, a small bowl caddy, and all the matching platters. I was happy before, but at this point I was ecstatic.

The tea party was going to be perfect! The big day arrived. An hour before I got to the school, I again pictured it in my mind: perfectly-brewed tea, delicious, perfectly-baked scones served on perfect china, perfect chamber music, and perfectly-behaved children dressed perfectly and delightfully.

Wait a minute. Perfectly-behaved. Seven-year old. Children. Twenty-three of them.

I honestly can’t explain my delusional tendencies to you except to speculate that insanity runs on both sides of my family. What was I thinking? My class? Perfectly behaved? The same class who spends more time in detention than they do in Math? Oh, my goodness!

When I opened the door, I braced myself as if for a typhoon--twenty-three typhoons, actually. I expected chaos, and chaos I got! Everywhere I looked I saw little crazy people fighting over ties and scarves and jewelry and hats! They tattled, they whined, they asked a million questions--all at once!

Fortunately, the cavalry arrived in the form of two teachers, Miss Porsche and Miss Sasha. Thank you, Lord! They are young, which means they still have patience. I was fresh out! But, more importantly, they knew how to tie neckties. A couple of parents showed up and helped me set up and serve. The tea party was saved. (I hoped.)

Once all the children were dressed, I sat them down and, through clenched teeth, told them that when I sounded the gong to officially start the tea party, they were going to transform themselves into little ladies and little gentlemen. The lawyer in me thinks it prudent not to divulge my exact threats--I mean, words--but, my speech can be summarized simply as "BE GOOD OR ELSE!"

We invited a few faculty and staff members to join us as our special guests. For weeks we had carefully planned and rehearsed a program consisting of a short welcome, a poem (Mrs. Spider’s Tea Party), and a song (I’m a Little Teapot). Two seconds before we were to begin, the boy who was to make the welcoming speech got stage-fright and had to be replaced. Only one girl memorized the poem (but she did an excellent job). The girls sang a sweet version of I’m a Little Teapot and even remembered to "tip over" to the right (in rehearsals they had left-right confusion). They were precious. The boys surprised the guests by breaking into a rap version of the teapot song and didn’t bother to pretend they knew their left from their right. Somehow, that made it better.

The children settled down and we all began to really enjoy ourselves. I brewed pot after pot after pot of banana-chocolate tea, green tea, and black teas. In addition to the scones, I served meringue cookies, brownie bites, ladyfinger cookies, and assorted other goodies. The children and guests ate their fill and I was grateful that by the time the sugar hit their systems, school would be over.

The class and I reflected on our experience the following Monday and the children said they would like to have a tea party every month. In fact, they want to form a club--a junior tea society of sorts. They are very excited about tea!

For my part, even though my term as their teacher will end soon, I want to maintain my relationships with the children and continue to serve as a mentor to them. I want to teach them about college, about the world, and about the possibilities that await them. I want to give them hope, help them dream, and then show them how to make their dreams come true via hard work, education--and networking.

You see, the majority of these children are underprivileged and deal with harsh realities at home. Some struggle with the English language; some with learning or emotional disabilities. Their families live in public housing and are focused on survival. They have no time for treats like tea parties.

Form a junior tea society? A tea party every month? I can do that! I have time--I’ll make time, if it will bring them a little joy.

So, if you are part of my personal network, you may as well volunteer to help me. I’m going to call you anyway. Start looking in your closets for hats and beads! Offer to supply us with scones and tea cookies. Flowers would be nice, too.

You may drop off your donations at the school office. Tell them it’s for the Delusional Lady. They’ll know who it’s for!

With aloha,
Sandy McKee

Contact Sandy at SandyM@TheNationalNetworker.com or TNNW Blog.

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