Just Joking, Right?

I focus in this column about ways to connect with diverse and multicultural markets to enhance our interactions and our connections. And, still, in this day and age there are times when there's a monumental faux pas or "disconnect" that I can't not make a comment and look for resolution.

At the beginning of this month, the show "Desperate Housewives" aired an episode in which a racial slur that was meant as a joke created a boycott of ABC and a demand for an apology from the Philippines and Filipino doctors both here in the United States and abroad.

The show's writers thought it would be funny. The officials cited a recent episode where actress Teri Hatcher, who plays Susan Mayer, asked the following about the person attending to her during a medical consultation "can I check those diplomas because I want to make sure that they're not from some med school in the Philippines."

On October 3rd, the Philippines asked for an apology out of respect for all the Filipino professionals. Stateside, many Filipino business groups and societies, began boycotting and waging campaigns against ABC. In fact, planned on November 4th, in Las Vegas, Nevada and a Filipino Medical Convention, there is a meeting to discuss "next steps" and even legal action against the show and the network.

Filipino consul in Los Angeles Mary Jo Bernardo Aragon wrote a letter of complaint to the ABC network saying that Filipino medical workers were in demand all over the world.

As networkers and leaders, unfortunately those kind of "jokes" are prevalent. Many are developed by ignorance and some just from totally insensitive and "clueless" souls. How can you as a professional steer clear of such "jokes" and stay in the "positive" as a person who connects and respects people of all walks of life?

Here's what you can do:

1. Recognize people for who they are and what they do - not their nationality or ethnicity.

I'm a strong supporter of multicultural based networking groups and organizations because they provide a common frame of reference for their membership. Yet, they do not stay stagnant and utilize that as the only commonality. That is merely a basis to get together - from their relationships need to be developed. How can you be proactive in doing that? Understand who each and every person that you would like to develop and connect with is which means understanding what they value and who is important to them.

For example: If you have a fellow networker who just had a baby and has returned to the working world, and you don't ask about that baby or even make a mention of congratulations, you won't stay in connection very long with that person. This is something they value and is a major happening in their life. To ignore it is to ignore the connection and ignore the person- period.

2. Check all assumptions.

And lead in with mention that "I'm checking on an assumption to make sure that I'm not operating in ignorance". Or, utilize words that sound more like you. But, do check in.

As an active member of the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, and not being "Hispanic" myself, I'm often asked by non-members "do you have to be Hispanic to join?" I WELCOME, that question - because at least they ask. What's disappointing is when I hear comments made such as "they only help Hispanics" or "we can't join we're not Hispanic". Huge assumptions made on those statements!

3. Assess your relationships.

People need to have a measurement tool to know how they're doing and to assess their importance and impact. We all need to know that we're making a difference and that we're connecting with people who we believe in and who believe in us.

Are there people in your life who constantly throw something out there that's racially discriminating or derogatory out there in their conversation? It might be time to evaluate those relationships - is it a good connection? Can you make a difference and help bring value? Do they bring value to you? Does the association make you more like them?

It's true - birds of a feather flock together. At any function, I steer clear of the "blonde jokes"; the "religious jokes"; and the "ethnic jokes". The centerpieces of diversity are contact, culture, complexity, and conflict. As we struggle with issues of diversity, we must question how much human diversity we are personally and institutionally willing to tolerate and celebrate. Communication is a wonderful gift!. Without communication we would have neither relationships or culture. Yet, communication in all of its forms and complexities can also be used to dehumanize and exclude others. Oppression begins with communication both verbal and non-verbal. Some the world’s greatest atrocities, began with words. However, communication is also our greatest hope for bringing together communities. How you use it is your choice!

 

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Contact Maria at MariaD@TheNationalNetWorker.com or Post a Comment on TNNW Blog.