Bring a Wingman, ahem, Wingperson

I have attended many networking events over the past year, probably five or six events per month. Each was beneficial in its own way, whether for meeting new people or reconnecting with old friends, colleagues, and business acquaintances. When I first started networking – and I mean really networking, not just going to the event for the hors d’oeuvres and standing in a corner chatting with friends – I was terrified. I’ve mentioned in this column that I am rather shy, so the idea of getting out and actually putting myself in a networking situation was daunting to say the least.

So over the course of the year, I’ve learned to cope. For each networking event I attend, I use a few strategies to ensure that I get the most out of the time I’m spending at the event. To assist my bashful friends, here are five of the things I do or did most often:

Bring a Wingman. Everything is more fun when done with a friend, and networking is not an exception. For your next networking event, bring a wingman. Make sure this is a person who finds it easy and fun to meet new people. Then make a deal with your wingman that s/he will introduce and edify you to the people s/he meets. It takes a big burden off you and still helps you to meet people. I have three people I use for various events. They just love to talk and connect with others, and they are very good about introducing me to the people they just met. The only time I talk with my wingman during an event is when s/he is introducing me to someone new. After the introduction is made, my wingman leaves me with my new contact and goes off in search of someone else.

Practice and preparation. It’s easy to get flustered when you’re not in your element. And let’s face it, for the shy person networking events are definitely not our element. The only way to feel confident in these cases is to be prepared. Practice introducing yourself and talking about what you do. Commit your 60-second commercial to memory so you can recall it in any situation. Your 60-second commercial should be like riding a bike – you always know how to do it regardless of how long it’s been since you last did so.

Have questions ready. To prepare for an event, create a set of questions you can ask when meeting someone new. Questions like: “What do you do?”, “Who is your target audience?”, and “How about them Bears?” Having a set of pre-rehearsed questions to pull from your hip pocket will help you feel more confident, and will leave a better impression with the person with whom you are talking.

Set a Goal. Prior to entering the event, set a goal. Whether it’s how many people you will talk with, or how many times you will pass your business card, reaching for a goal will help you keep on task. As you get better at networking, increase your goals. Pretty soon you won’t need to worry about it. One caveat on goal setting: your goal cannot be the time you will leave the event.

Be a Superhero. When we were kids, we all pretended to be superheroes at one time or another. We were Superman, WonderWoman, Mighty Isis, and Batman. We imagined ourselves as characters that were larger than life, afraid of nothing, and able to leap Capital T in a single bound (I was a huge fan of The Electric Company’s Letterman when I was in grade school). When we were superheroes nothing could stop us. We were fearless, just like Fearless Fly. Take that same boldness and attitude into your next networking event. For two or three hours, pretend you are Super Networker: stronger than a business card, faster than a whispered, “Hi.”, and able to make new connections with a single phrase. Super Networker wouldn’t think twice about introducing him or herself to the person standing in the heart of the party. Be Super Networker a couple of times and after a while, you won’t have to pretend anymore.

Follow up. This is standard practice for any networker, but incredibly important for the shy person. Following up with an email, letter, or card allows you to make a second contact on your terms. You can take as much time as you need (within reason) to carefully craft your message.

Above all, remember that networking is a skill that gets better with practice. The more you do it, the better you become. And eventually it will just be second nature for you.

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