JetNetting ™ With Heshie Segal

The Charisma Factor . . . Giving Wings to Your Relationships

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Charisma is an enigma. It's not specifically definable or measurable. It is not a specific trait; not about leadership or confidence. It is the sum of varying qualities that pull people towards the ones who possess it. It's a “thing” you have or do not have. Interestingly, charisma is instinctive, inherent and yet it can also be learned.

Think about it. Some people have this intangible quality that draws you to them. They walk into a room and heads turn. They may be stunningly beautiful, handsome, or downright unattractive. They may be slender or heavy, short or tall, millionaires or paupers. It doesn’t matter. They have an aura, similar to the artist’s painting a halo around the head of a religious figure to depict a light of intense energy. It may not be visible and yet it’s there. You are not quite sure what it is and yet you are drawn to it. You want to meet this person, talk to him or her, build a relationship. In social circles, you want them to be your friend. In politics, you will follow them. In business, you want to partner with them. In life, you might just want to be one of them.

This magnetic quality is called The Charisma Factor. When you possess it, you possess keys to success. In fact, the more you have of it, the better your chances are to become highly successful.

As you delve into The Charisma Factor, you learn that you too can become charismatic (or even more charismatic if you are already there). You better understand what charisma is, some common traits of the charismatic personality, some known figures who exemplify these traits, how to develop your own charisma and the results you can produce as a result.

So, what is this Charisma Factor? It, in fact, is indefinable since it is a combination of traits that varies from person to person as well as situation to situation. On the surface, we may generally refer to it as a person’s ability to influence, charm, allure, seduce, tantalize, captivate, fascinate, attract and even bewitch. The charismatic individual has an indefinable personal magnetism that can “move mountains” with a gesture, a nod, extended eye contact, a single word or simply by being present. When these individuals appear, the “world” as we know it, changes.

Who do we know who possesses this quality?

Many political leaders exhibit this every day. Their charisma gets them elected or, at the very least, command a following. Take John F. Kennedy. Even those in school at the time of his assassination will remember where they were and what they doing. Kennedy's charisma was felt and recognized around the world. He was handsome, courageous, forward thinking and a powerful speaker. Winston Churchill was action oriented, defiant, loyal, a statesman and a powerful orator. Nelson Mandela is known as a man of conviction and resilience as a leader and courageous activist. Martin Luther King lives in the hearts of the world. He has died and yet his dream and who and what he represented lives on. He was a powerful orator, a visionary and had a strong and clear vision. He was popular for staying with his beliefs and his convictions. Golda Meir, of Israel, and Benazir Bhutto, of Pakistan, were both courageous, persuasive and popular enough to become the first female heads of state.

Religious and spiritual leaders can transcend their individual denominations and move both believers and non-believers. Some examples are Billy Graham, Ron Hubbard, Muhammed, Desmond Tutu, Gautama Buddha, Jesus, Rabbi Schneur Zalman, Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Joshua Heschel, Rashi, Norman Vincent Peale, Rumi, the Dalia Lama, Mother Theresa have been called mesmerizing influencers and visionaries.

And how about celebrities? Julia Roberts just needs to smile. It is magical. Denzel Washington simply needs to appear. The congruence of who he is speaks for itself. The same holds true for Robert Redford. Bob Hope, Lucille Ball, and George Burns gave us humor. Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe still live on. Their aura, their stage presence, their magnetism continues.

And then there are professional speakers and trainers. Charisma brings them back onto the stage, time after time. I recently attended one of our mastermind speaker sessions and was reminded that just like the politicians, the religious leaders and the celebrities, there is one thing we all have in common – it is the ability to speak, to project, to communicate and in turn to influence. Three people in the room that evening had a huge influence upon me becoming a successful speaker and influencer. I am adding a personal aside here because we all start somewhere and when we show up and want to learn, there are always people to help. Two of the three were Major Ben Brooks, the first African American to become a Major in the PA. Police Department, who has long been making a difference in the world with his charismatic talks on diversity and sexual harassment and Ralph Archibold, aka, better known in today's world as Philadelphia's very own Ben Franklin. Ralph is about to embark on a world tour (and I will be out there shouting his praises). Both became my mentors. The third person in the room, who lead the session, was Aldonna Ambler, internationally known as The Growth Strategist, consultant to the millionaires and adviser to our presidents. Clearly, she was giving back. Every person in the room was glued to their seats, hanging onto her every word. Her charisma was unmistakable.

Charisma is found in the teacher who propels the students, in the goalie who momentarily saves the game, the child who tells stories while classmates listen intently.

There is some sense of commonality in people who are charismatic.

For the most part, they:

1. Have a strong opinion about their subject. When they speak about it, they are on purpose, they exhibit passion, enthusiasm, knowledge and conviction. They make a compelling argument for their point of view.
2. Are tenacious, follow up and don't let go.
3. Are self-confident on the outside and the inside. They attain this through experience, research, knowing.
4. Do what is necessary to get the job done; they rise above the circumstances.
5. Have courage and move through the fear.
6. Have tremendous stage presence.
7. Are persuasive, devoted, loyal.
8. Are action oriented, even of the point of being defiant when necessary.
9. Are powerful communicators
10. Are congruent.

Charisma is powerful. It unlocks doors for you to enter. It brings you power, success and prosperity. It is like magic. Some have it. Some don't. It is accessible to all who want to develop it. It can be learned. And in Part II of this article, I will provide a road map for achieving it.

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