Networking Etiquette – What Questions Cross “The Line?”

By Jason Alba, Career Transition Editor
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Recently I’ve received e-mails and phone calls from people who have a sensitive question… a question that perhaps they shouldn’t ask. Actually, that’s how they pose the question. They don’t want to jeopardize a relationship with me by asking the “wrong” question.

After they sufficiently position their question as “you don’t have to answer this if you think it’s over-the-line,” they ask a question. A simple, harmless question.

I answer it, and wait for the “over-the-line” question… which never comes. Because they already asked it.

What was, in their mind, a tough question was quite easy and comfortable for me. Shoot, they probably got all worked up for a while before they even asked me if they could ask the question!

And it really was no big deal.

I’m guessing this happens when we feel there is an inequitable relationship. When we are lesser than the other person. When we are takers, and they are givers.

Of course inequitable relationships happen. I bet networking experts (the ones who pontificate about networking) would suggest that all relationships are inequitable.

How should that affect how we deal with our relationships? Should treat each person as if they were the junior or senior person? Worse, how many times do we fall into this trap? Too often.

As you go about your professional networking, please keep it in perspective. I had to have a major paradigm shift, which happened as I read Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi). Of the many things I learned from that book, it’s that we all have something to give, and something we can take… but we all bring something to the relationship.

E-mail me if you can think of what you, the job seeker, brings to each relationship. Once I figured this out, and it’s powerful, my job search relationships changed.

 

Jason Alba is the CEO and creator of JibberJobber.com, and author of “I’m on LinkedIn – Now What???” After a corporate downsizing impacted Jason in 2006, he experienced firsthand the difficulties of conducting a job search. Drawing on his extensive computer software and IT experience, Jason analyzed the job search process and developed JibberJobber.com, the gold standard in career management technology.

Widely acknowledged as a leading career management evangelist, Jason continues to spread the word to job seekers through his blog, JibberJobber.com/blog. He is co-author of “I’m on Facebook – Now What???”and offers tutorials on how to fulfill the role of being CEO of You, Inc.

 

Jason Alba is:

CEO of JibberJobber.com

Author of I’m on LinkedIn – Now What???

Co-author of I’m on Facebook – Now What???

Founder of CEO Training for Me Inc.

 

 

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